Forward

As far as I can tell, this older man walks his dog most everyday.

Without fail, without worry, but in perfect stride with a routine of devout intention

On meeting needs.

I, who struggle to clean that stray plate or schedule that dentist appointment,

am at first, jealous of assumed "time" to enjoy this finery- "Oh, how I wish I could do the same."

Next; pinned to the wall with conviction-"Wait-- this is a choice made, aside from restrictions."

And finally, "Oh, how I wish I would do this."

A lack of want and effort, inside man-made confines of "schedule" take the blame.

Resources are really useless, if not yoked to a purpose of both heart AND mind.

So, Lord-- Would you once again, make me thirsty for the 'wants' that make my soul a faithful kind?

New year, new school term, new hits to the heart.

God is so good for what has begun in this new year. He's reinstated within me an upright and just spirit- My work ethic is balanced, my goals are high-- Mainly because I finally have set my sights on what I'll be doing this next year: a DTS program through YWAM ministries. (!!! So exciting to be able to say that for definite!)

So, yes, God is good in that- I'm stepping out in faith to begin the process of application, (I've already narrowed my focus of the DTS down to international justice and compassion/mercy), and will be sending in a couple of applications to Colorado, and maybe another to Orlando, FL and North Carolina.

My heart is feeling so tender again- More than it was before I felt it beginning to harden and get stale: Lord, I prayed for you to enter in and take hold of what you wanted to come out in me-- FOr choosing where to go and a what to do in this next year, for shaping the woman and child of Christ You created me to be, and BOY have You delivered! So much so that, my heart is breaking in ways and places I didn't expect it to at such a degree.

My sociology class is about the formation of social institutions, both on a national and international scale. We are currently discussing stratification of wealth, resources, safety... And my heart runs automatically to those without these gifts. I get all choked up while reading my textbook's statistics on poverty, sex trafficking, modern day slavery, continued civil warfare; every piece of the loving, compassionate, and justice-loving person I know I am is coming out again--- At FULL speed.

Lord, I am at war within my own heart- To be restlessly seeking an active part in the change-making parts of the kingdom on earth, while being here to prepare for what my heart longs for but cannot classify in one longing. You know my heart and my deeds; I trust You to do what You will with this heart and these hands motivated by it.